Being Defective... Coping with Allergies on a Daily Basis

As someone who has had allergies since a very small child, I have grown used to them as they come and go and have learnt over the years to tackle the problems they cause. I developed a dairy allergy in my mid teens which really affected the way I viewed myself and my peers and when my wonderful sister-in-law was diagnosed with coeliac around two years ago I knew I would do anything I could to help her through the rough transitional period between diagnosis and acceptance. My hope for this piece is that I can help at least one person going through this transition and perhaps raise awareness of the struggles faced by people with allergies, its not just 'all in our heads'.

A small allergy mark on my arm, this is quite dull and wasn't a bad one at all. 

Of my many allergies, my first manifested in toddler-hood with angry blotches on my skin covering my torso. My mum was degraded by the local doctor who informed her that she must be 'an unfit mother' and that we had bedbugs. Being a mum, and mothers do sometimes know best, she persevered and I was eventually diagnosed with Urticaria Pigmentosa, a relatively rare condition that leaves me with painful, itchy and unsightly marks over my entire body and face. These marks tend to come and go and are sometimes rationally triggered when I do/eat something I know I shouldn't but other times they just like to be a real arse and pop up to remind me I'm defective!

This allergy affected me externally first and foremost, but as I grew older and more image conscious, the appearance of odd marks caused derision amongst my peers and as a teen I would have done anything to hide them or for them to go away. Now in my mid twenties, I can accept the marks as part of what makes me 'ME' but the insecurities embedded by looking 'different' sometimes still manifest.

As a teen, I suddenly and violent became sick often several times a day for several months. After a while I suddenly realised that the common factor was that I was always sick after a meal, and being vegetarian, my meals almost always contained some form of dairy as a source of protein. The difficulty with being vegetarian was that most options contained either dairy or eggs (which I've always been intolerant to) and the vegan revolution was yet to begin .

Being an awkward and socially inept teenager, the struggle of going round to peoples houses or out for meals and having to explain what I couldn't eat meant I kept eating dairy even though it made me violent unwell for far longer than I should have. I have been so sick that I have vomited blood, and burst blood vessels in my eye balls. And people told me it was all in my head, it was 'just a phase'.

Now I am lucky enough to be confident in my own skin and to have an incredible support network through both my friends and family who are incredible in their care to prepare food I can eat. The rise in awareness of allergies and food preferences has also had an incredible impact on my quality of life. My allergies have cause me to cancel plans, bail on dates and be scared to travel, to explore new places but with research and patience anything is possible.

I wish someone could have told me as a teenager that I would be able to manage my allergies, and that I would find people that would support and nurture me rather than degrade me. Allergies now are not the stigma they were even five years ago but awareness is still limited and support is often only found through those who have been through a similar experience.

I wanted to share a few of the things I have learnt over the years, the main being listen to your own body. If you're being sick, bloated, suffer from headaches or have nearly shite yourself in public; then theres a problem! I used process of elimination to figure out whats affecting me but many health food shops offer allergy testing as will your doctors.

I always now carry a packet of mints, they both help to settle my stomach and also help freshen my breath if I am sick. Checking where the nearest bathroom is tends to be a good idea, mercy dashes have happened to me all to often and the last thing you want is to be scrabbling trying to find it.

I often take food with me to peoples homes, either something I can share with the table or something I can pop in the microwave to save the host. Also be prepared to be firm but polite about your allergies, its amazing what people assume. Cross contamination can be a major risk, especially when eating in peoples homes and without training, friends and family can't be expected to know.

When thinking about eating away from home, most places have menus online now if you know you are going somewhere in advance I always try to call and prepare them for my awkwardness! This doesn't always work but restaurants are often more than willing to prepare a little something extra but don't be surprised if you end up with a tapas style meal out of side dishes!

Another big one for me is reading labels, after a while the words just jump out and it takes seconds but to start with, spending that little bit of extra time is so worth the effort. My friends and family are now brilliant at this and have found food for me I didn't think I would be able to have. Hidden ingredients can be a nightmare, like fruit juices with milk powder in to bulk them out. Crisps are another mine-field, especially at parties where they are so often laid out in bowls all nice and ready. I make my wonderful other half try all of them and if there seems to be plain ones, I stick to them.

I have found fantastic support from online forums and Facebook groups as well as from friends and like-minded acquaintances. My hope is that this can reach out to even one person feeling lost and alone at the beginning of their allergy journey and let them know that there is hope.

Yes, I still make mistakes; and yes, I still sometimes poison myself but I have gone from being sick up to 4 times a day every day for over a year to being sick once in a year over the course of the last ten years so I consider it progress. My allergies encouraged my love of cooking which in turn encouraged me to start this blog; so allergies, I thank you.

Apologies for the lack of pictures in this blog, I realise its a bit wordy but for the first time in perhaps forever I have only had one allergy mark since I decided to write this blog! I wanted to use photos of my own skin as an example, the marks are often really bright, red and angry looking and itch like nothing on earth. A bad one can cover my entire back and feels like nettle stings have had an acid party. I have been known to be driven so mad by them that I scratch them so much I have drawn blood (although I try not to) and these marks can manifest ANYWHERE on my body.

Please share this blog to help raise awareness, allergies have a habit of making people feel very excluded and alone and I hope this can make at least one person feel a little less 'defective'.
#diaryofadefectivehousewife